When Kennedy was 5 days old, Jenn and I shared a priceless day together. Because of the heartbreaking failed adoption prior to Kennedy, Chris and I chose not to have a shower until after her birth. As a matter of fact, before Kennedy was released from the hospital, Chris had to go get a car seat and a few sleepers until I could get out to go shopping. My sweet grandmother had bought 3 gorgeous outfits with matching blankets, but that was pretty much all we had.
I needed to register at Babies R Us for our loved ones back home (whom, of course, were chomping at the bits to buy for Kennedy) and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather experience that with than Jenn. I was hesitant about asking her because I didn't want to upset her, but when I approached her about it, she was thrilled. We spent hours picking out the things our sweet baby would need. We decided that, for Kennedy, the obvious choice of bedding and room decor was pink. Tiny pink flowers and foamy green accents covered the quilt and would compliment the white crib beautifully.
After we registered, we went back through the store and shopped for the things I needed immediately. We were out of the basics from the hospital so I had to buy everything from diapers and wipes to onsies, sleepers and socks. How I had waited for the day I could buy those things for my daughter without the fear she would be taken from me and all I would have left are her things.
Then came that akward moment. When the saleslady saw Kennedy's birthday on the registry she asked, "Which one of you is the mom?" Jenn quickly said, "Oh, I'm her birthmom, but she is her mommy." Tears welled up in the lady's eyes and she replied, "What a lucky little girl." All I could think is, "Thank you God. What an amazing woman."
As we walked to the car Jenn told me she could tell I was miserable being away from Kennedy. I missed my baby so bad it hurt, but didn't want to upset Jenn. I admitted I was going crazy without her and she simply said, "go get your baby and lets go to lunch." We went to the hotel and found Kennedy sleeping soundly. Like little girls with a baby doll, we changed her into one of the cute new outfits and took her with us. At lunch, servers and customers commented on Kennedy's beauty. Jenn seemed to enjoy watching me care for her and expressed her contentment at being "Aunt Jenn."
At the end of this perfect day, I held Kennedy until she fell asleep under my chin. I cherished the feel of her soft, silky black hair on my skin and the sweet smell of baby lotion. I was in no hurry to get home and have to share her with those so excited to meet her. I didn't want to return to everyday life and was perfectly content being halfway across the country with my little girl.
Our time here as a family had been wonderful but there was a big dread I could now feel in my stomach. The next day, Chris would board a plane for home and Kennedy and I would be left in Tulsa...completely alone.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Finally mine (chapter 6)
Spending the next hour with our new daughter and the amazing woman who brought her into the world was magical. Jenn told us she had spent some time with her after birth and felt peaceful about the decision to give Kennedy to us. I could tell Ann* was having a difficult time, but was supportive in Jenn's decision and stepped aside to let us bond with our new baby.
We were taken to our room to settle in and let Jenn rest. I changed Kennedy into one of the outfits my grandmother had given her and snuggled her under my chin. That afternoon, Jenn came to visit. She didn't want to hold Kennedy, but seemed to enjoy hanging out with us and watching us care for her. That night, Kennedy bounced from my bed to Chris's sofa without ever leaving our arms, much less, our room. She was very content and cried only when she was hungry, which was constantly, it seemed.
Jenn was released from the hospital the next morning and Chris and I followed a couple of hours later. I couldn't believe we were leaving the hospital with our very own baby. How I had longed for this day. When we reached the hotel, our home for the next two weeks, we took turns snuggling our newborn daughter. It was at this point, that I somewhat had an emotional breakdown. I found it hard to function as I was overwhelmed with fear. I was already in love with Kennedy and was so terrified Jenn would change her mind. Jenn would go before the judge the next day and after she spoke with him, her rights would be revoked forever. Even after Jenn called and voiced her peace and certainty about her decision, I still was paralyzed with fear. Literally. I felt deeply depressed. I just wanted to sleep until it was all over and I knew no one would take her away from me. Chris pretty much took total control over Kennedy's care that day and I sank further into despair. I felt guilty for not taking care of this child I had prayed for and waited so long for, but my body would not function. I felt as if I were holding my breath until I knew Kennedy was mine forever.
Twelve hours later, I was able to exhale. Jenn had spoken with the judge and had signed papers terminating her parental rights. It was over. Kennedy was mine. My body released all tension and fear and I picked my daughter up and looked into her big brown eyes. Immeasurable love and thankfulness radiated from my heart and I basked in this moment I had been waiting for my entire life.
Jenn wanted to spend some time together and we decided to meet for dinner. She met us at our hotel and brought gifts. She gave Kennedy an outfit, blanket and teddy bear and gave us a card. In it, she said she was thankful for us and loved us for loving Kennedy. We went to dinner at the restaurant Jenn served at so her friends could admire the daughter we shared together. They were all supportive to Jenn and welcoming to us. She held Kennedy for a few minutes, but Kennedy started to cry and Jenn said, "OK Mommy, she wants you."
That night, I held Kennedy in my arms as we drifted off to sleep and...I never let go.
We were taken to our room to settle in and let Jenn rest. I changed Kennedy into one of the outfits my grandmother had given her and snuggled her under my chin. That afternoon, Jenn came to visit. She didn't want to hold Kennedy, but seemed to enjoy hanging out with us and watching us care for her. That night, Kennedy bounced from my bed to Chris's sofa without ever leaving our arms, much less, our room. She was very content and cried only when she was hungry, which was constantly, it seemed.
Jenn was released from the hospital the next morning and Chris and I followed a couple of hours later. I couldn't believe we were leaving the hospital with our very own baby. How I had longed for this day. When we reached the hotel, our home for the next two weeks, we took turns snuggling our newborn daughter. It was at this point, that I somewhat had an emotional breakdown. I found it hard to function as I was overwhelmed with fear. I was already in love with Kennedy and was so terrified Jenn would change her mind. Jenn would go before the judge the next day and after she spoke with him, her rights would be revoked forever. Even after Jenn called and voiced her peace and certainty about her decision, I still was paralyzed with fear. Literally. I felt deeply depressed. I just wanted to sleep until it was all over and I knew no one would take her away from me. Chris pretty much took total control over Kennedy's care that day and I sank further into despair. I felt guilty for not taking care of this child I had prayed for and waited so long for, but my body would not function. I felt as if I were holding my breath until I knew Kennedy was mine forever.
Twelve hours later, I was able to exhale. Jenn had spoken with the judge and had signed papers terminating her parental rights. It was over. Kennedy was mine. My body released all tension and fear and I picked my daughter up and looked into her big brown eyes. Immeasurable love and thankfulness radiated from my heart and I basked in this moment I had been waiting for my entire life.
Jenn wanted to spend some time together and we decided to meet for dinner. She met us at our hotel and brought gifts. She gave Kennedy an outfit, blanket and teddy bear and gave us a card. In it, she said she was thankful for us and loved us for loving Kennedy. We went to dinner at the restaurant Jenn served at so her friends could admire the daughter we shared together. They were all supportive to Jenn and welcoming to us. She held Kennedy for a few minutes, but Kennedy started to cry and Jenn said, "OK Mommy, she wants you."
That night, I held Kennedy in my arms as we drifted off to sleep and...I never let go.
Friday, February 12, 2010
"She's all yours" (chapter 5)
Chris and I had been to the drive-in when our phone rang about midnight. It was Jenn's boyfriend and they were on their way to the hospital. He called us back less than and hour later when the hospital admitted her. We grabbed our packed bags and left for the 3 hour drive to Nashville to catch the earliest possible flight. I couldn't believe this was happening. As excited as I was, I was equally as frightened. Would we get Kennedy...hold her, care for her and love her for days only to have to give her back? Even though I had a peace about the situation, it was definitely scary to walk through.
When we arrived at the airport, the earliest flight we could get (due to 9/11) was at 10 am. After we explained to the angel at the ticket counter (she could probably see the desperation in my eyes) she bumped us to an 8am flight. We had an hour layover (though I don't remember where!) and I called our adoption coordinator, Deanna, to see how far along Jenn* was. She said she was already fully dilated and almost ready to push. We were going to miss the birth of our baby.
I can't remember ever being more nervous, excited and scared in my entire life. Because the last plane was only carrying 10 people, including us, it didn't take long for those around us to find out we were on our way to meet our daughter. Several people offered to drive us to the hospital and one woman gave me her phone number in case I needed anything. The minute we could exit, the stewardess hurried us out of the plane. Wouldn't you know I didn't have a signal until I was at the luggage carousel? Deanna answered the phone with "Lori, you have the most beautiful baby waiting on you! Jenn* has spent about an hour with her and she is doing great."
The drive to the hospital was a complete fog. I couldn't cry. I couldn't speak. When we finally walked around the corner to Jenn*'s room, we were greeted by Jenn's mother, Ann*. She embraced me and asked me if I wanted to be shown our room or go by Jenn's room first. Of course, we wanted to see Jenn*.
Jenn was propped up in the bed waiting on us. I went to her bedside and took her in my arms. I had no idea what to expect, but Jenn* quickly whispered, "Your daughter is beautiful Lori. I can't wait for you to see her and I'm so thankful I could do this for you." Overcome with emotion, the nurse asked, "Are you ready to meet your daughter?"
Chris led me to an empty chair and we waited for an eternity for the nurse to bring Kennedy in. When the bassinet wheeled in, she gently took her out and placed her in my arms. She was asleep. She was perfect. She was mine.
I'll never be able to convey what I felt that moment. Not only was I overtook with the wonder of this tiny baby, but also immeasurable gratitude at the magnitude of this gift entrusted to me. I heard Jenn say, "she's all yours" and I knew God had just answered my prayers.
When we arrived at the airport, the earliest flight we could get (due to 9/11) was at 10 am. After we explained to the angel at the ticket counter (she could probably see the desperation in my eyes) she bumped us to an 8am flight. We had an hour layover (though I don't remember where!) and I called our adoption coordinator, Deanna, to see how far along Jenn* was. She said she was already fully dilated and almost ready to push. We were going to miss the birth of our baby.
I can't remember ever being more nervous, excited and scared in my entire life. Because the last plane was only carrying 10 people, including us, it didn't take long for those around us to find out we were on our way to meet our daughter. Several people offered to drive us to the hospital and one woman gave me her phone number in case I needed anything. The minute we could exit, the stewardess hurried us out of the plane. Wouldn't you know I didn't have a signal until I was at the luggage carousel? Deanna answered the phone with "Lori, you have the most beautiful baby waiting on you! Jenn* has spent about an hour with her and she is doing great."
The drive to the hospital was a complete fog. I couldn't cry. I couldn't speak. When we finally walked around the corner to Jenn*'s room, we were greeted by Jenn's mother, Ann*. She embraced me and asked me if I wanted to be shown our room or go by Jenn's room first. Of course, we wanted to see Jenn*.
Jenn was propped up in the bed waiting on us. I went to her bedside and took her in my arms. I had no idea what to expect, but Jenn* quickly whispered, "Your daughter is beautiful Lori. I can't wait for you to see her and I'm so thankful I could do this for you." Overcome with emotion, the nurse asked, "Are you ready to meet your daughter?"
Chris led me to an empty chair and we waited for an eternity for the nurse to bring Kennedy in. When the bassinet wheeled in, she gently took her out and placed her in my arms. She was asleep. She was perfect. She was mine.
I'll never be able to convey what I felt that moment. Not only was I overtook with the wonder of this tiny baby, but also immeasurable gratitude at the magnitude of this gift entrusted to me. I heard Jenn say, "she's all yours" and I knew God had just answered my prayers.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Meeting Kennedy (chapter 4)
The trip to Tulsa was an interesting one, to say the least. We flew just 5 days after 9/11 and the airport was basically deserted. I love to fly, but because of the obvious saftey issue combined with the fact I was going to have dinner with the mother of my child, I was a nervous wreck. Of course, there was the "pro", in that all 7 passengers had their choice of an entire aisle.
I called Jenn* on the way to the hotel and she was walking circles in the mall like a mad woman on a mission. She was determined to go into labor while we were there. You can see now, why we hit it off so well. She's a complete goof as am I. We would meet in 2 hours at a local restaurant and I have never been more excited in my life.
We were waiting outside the restaurant when she arrived. She had a glowing, contageous smile and we hugged and shrieked with delight like 12 year olds. Then, Jenn* took my hand and placed it on her tummy. "Meet Kennedy. She was yours from the beginning." I can't put this precious, priceless, once in a lifetime moment into words. Its a feeling that I wish everyone could experience at least once in their lives. We shared a bond...a mother's love for this baby. What a blessed child to be loved by two mothers.
Dinner was fun and easy. The three of us talked like old friends. When Kennedy kicked, Jenn* grabbed Chris's hand and he felt our baby move for the first time. This was truely a union only God could orchestrate. When Jenn* found out she was pregnant, she felt she couldn't emotionally, physically or finacially support a baby. Jenn* wanted her to have a mom and a dad who had longed for a child, but couldn't conceive. She wanted to give someone else the precious gift they couldn't attain without her. Her family and friends were extremely supportive of her decision and were all looking forward to meeting us.
Before this night, Jenn* wanted a semi-open adoption. She chose to receive annual updates and pictures through the attorney and we respected her wish. But, as the afternoon progressed, as did the bond, I told her that she could have as much contact with us and Kennedy as she was comfortable with. I honestly couldn't imagine not having her in our lives. Our family and friends didn't understand and were not supportive of an extremely open adoption, but we knew our hearts. She, of course, felt the same way. After the longest dinner in history, we went our separate ways with plans to spend a day at the zoo together the next morning.
We picked up Jenn* and wandered through the park, simply enjoying our time getting to know each other. That night, we met Jenn*, her boyfriend Brandon*, her mother Ann* and her stepfather Jim*. Jim treated us all to dinner at a nice restaurant and we talked easily, even about difficult topics. We were honest and open with each other and everyone felt peaceful and at ease with the adoption plan.
Our weekend with Jenn* and her family was the beginning of a journey we would experience together, all for the love of a child.
I called Jenn* on the way to the hotel and she was walking circles in the mall like a mad woman on a mission. She was determined to go into labor while we were there. You can see now, why we hit it off so well. She's a complete goof as am I. We would meet in 2 hours at a local restaurant and I have never been more excited in my life.
We were waiting outside the restaurant when she arrived. She had a glowing, contageous smile and we hugged and shrieked with delight like 12 year olds. Then, Jenn* took my hand and placed it on her tummy. "Meet Kennedy. She was yours from the beginning." I can't put this precious, priceless, once in a lifetime moment into words. Its a feeling that I wish everyone could experience at least once in their lives. We shared a bond...a mother's love for this baby. What a blessed child to be loved by two mothers.
Dinner was fun and easy. The three of us talked like old friends. When Kennedy kicked, Jenn* grabbed Chris's hand and he felt our baby move for the first time. This was truely a union only God could orchestrate. When Jenn* found out she was pregnant, she felt she couldn't emotionally, physically or finacially support a baby. Jenn* wanted her to have a mom and a dad who had longed for a child, but couldn't conceive. She wanted to give someone else the precious gift they couldn't attain without her. Her family and friends were extremely supportive of her decision and were all looking forward to meeting us.
Before this night, Jenn* wanted a semi-open adoption. She chose to receive annual updates and pictures through the attorney and we respected her wish. But, as the afternoon progressed, as did the bond, I told her that she could have as much contact with us and Kennedy as she was comfortable with. I honestly couldn't imagine not having her in our lives. Our family and friends didn't understand and were not supportive of an extremely open adoption, but we knew our hearts. She, of course, felt the same way. After the longest dinner in history, we went our separate ways with plans to spend a day at the zoo together the next morning.
We picked up Jenn* and wandered through the park, simply enjoying our time getting to know each other. That night, we met Jenn*, her boyfriend Brandon*, her mother Ann* and her stepfather Jim*. Jim treated us all to dinner at a nice restaurant and we talked easily, even about difficult topics. We were honest and open with each other and everyone felt peaceful and at ease with the adoption plan.
Our weekend with Jenn* and her family was the beginning of a journey we would experience together, all for the love of a child.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
TN bill written by Rep. Mark Maddox
After the scam, I contacted hundreds of politcal officials. TN State Rep Mark Maddox responded and wrote the following bill. He did present the bill, but it was "pushed back" by adoption attorneys in Nashville.
Summary of the TN bill:
*SB1713 by *Herron. (HB2096 by *Maddox.)
Adoption - Creates fraud offenses and a civil cause of action
in certain circumstances involving birth mothers and prospective
adoptive parents or families. - Amends TCA Title 36 and Title39.
iscal Summary for *SB1713 / HB2096
Increase State Expenditures - $6,600 / Incarceration*
Bill Summary for *SB1713 / HB2096
Under this bill, it would be a Class E felony for a woman to
represent herself to a prospective adoptive parent or family as
either:
(1) Being pregnant when she knows she is not and to acceptfunds from
the parent or family during the alleged pregnancy; or
(2) Being willing to allow such parent or family to adopt herunborn
child and to accept funds from the family during her pregnancy with
the intent not to allow such adoption.
In addition to probation, incarceration, or criminal fines,this bill
requires the sentencing court to sentence an offender to payfull
restitution to the parent or family for all the funds paid tothe
offender by the parent or family during the pregnancy or alleged pregnancy.
This bill also authorizes a cause of action for a parent or family to
bring suit against a woman for the full restitution of all thefunds
the parent or family paid to her during her pregnancy, if:
(1) The woman represents herself to a prospective parent or family asbeing
willing to allow the parent or family to adopt her unbornchild and
accepts funds from the family during her pregnancy; and
(2)Throughout the pregnancy she intends to give the child up tothe
parent or family for adoption, but when the child is born she does
not follow through with the adoptive plans.
Summary of the TN bill:
*SB1713 by *Herron. (HB2096 by *Maddox.)
Adoption - Creates fraud offenses and a civil cause of action
in certain circumstances involving birth mothers and prospective
adoptive parents or families. - Amends TCA Title 36 and Title39.
iscal Summary for *SB1713 / HB2096
Increase State Expenditures - $6,600 / Incarceration*
Bill Summary for *SB1713 / HB2096
Under this bill, it would be a Class E felony for a woman to
represent herself to a prospective adoptive parent or family as
either:
(1) Being pregnant when she knows she is not and to acceptfunds from
the parent or family during the alleged pregnancy; or
(2) Being willing to allow such parent or family to adopt herunborn
child and to accept funds from the family during her pregnancy with
the intent not to allow such adoption.
In addition to probation, incarceration, or criminal fines,this bill
requires the sentencing court to sentence an offender to payfull
restitution to the parent or family for all the funds paid tothe
offender by the parent or family during the pregnancy or alleged pregnancy.
This bill also authorizes a cause of action for a parent or family to
bring suit against a woman for the full restitution of all thefunds
the parent or family paid to her during her pregnancy, if:
(1) The woman represents herself to a prospective parent or family asbeing
willing to allow the parent or family to adopt her unbornchild and
accepts funds from the family during her pregnancy; and
(2)Throughout the pregnancy she intends to give the child up tothe
parent or family for adoption, but when the child is born she does
not follow through with the adoptive plans.
" You have been chosen!" (chapter 3)
In addition to being a born planner, I'm also quite determined. As much as I had grieved for lost babies, I would do anything I needed to do to become a mother. I had finally gotten to the point that I could just do my part, relax, and God would take care of the rest. I absolutely and fully trusted that God would match us with the perfect situation for us and there was no need for me to intervene or worry.
I found a picture in a magazine of the most beautiful baby I had ever laid my eyes on. She was about 9 months old, hispanic with golden olive skin, dark brown hair and dark eyes that lit up the entire picture. Didn't God give you the most precious desires of your heart in His timing? I believed so with all my heart. I carefully cut out the picture and placed it between my praying hands. "Dear God, I'm so thankful you have placed the desire to be a mother within me and I will wait for you to match us with the perfect situation, potential birthmother and baby. I believe that You not only give us the desires of our heart, but You delight in surprizing us with gifts above and beyond our imaginations. Thank you God for working in our lives and the life of the woman carrying our unborn child either now or in the future. In Jesus's name, Amen." We knew our next move. We would try the same route as Sarah* and her husband.
It was an attorney's office in Oklahoma City, OK that specialized in adoptions. When the application came in the mail, I filled it out immediately. Pretty standard questions, then came the one I dreaded... "How much have you budgeted for this adoption?" Sarah* had prepared me and Chris and I had discussed it. If people could borrow money for material things, then we would borrow money to become parents. Then came that gutwrenching term we had to agree to. In Oklahoma, prospective adoptive parents could legally provide 10 months living expenses for the prospective birth mother. In the event she changes her mind after birth, you lose the money you have paid for her expenses. Not only losing a baby, but losing even more money than we already had was scary, to say the least. In addition to the application and fee we also had to send in a scrapbook, of sorts, of our family for potential birthmothers to look through. I worked for about a week creating the perfect book. It was filled with pictures of ourselves, Hailee, and friends and family. I tried to pour every detail of our lives into the book so pregnant women could easily gage whether or not we were the family she was looking for. When it was completed, I sent off the packet with a prayer.
About six weeks after applying to Demastus Law, I was canning fresh salsa when the phone rang. "Lori, this is Deanna at Demastus and I have some news for you." I caught my breath and sat down. Had I filled out something wrong? I waited for her to continue. "A pregnant client has chosen to place her baby with you and she's due in 8 weeks. She's a beautiful, fair skinned, white woman and the birthfather is hispanic. Are you interested?"
It took all of two seconds to squeal, "YES! YES! And YES!" I asked her if Jenn* would like to talk to me and she said she would find out at the ultrasound the following day. We would find out tomorrow the sex of our long awaited baby.
Needless to say, my Grandmother had to come over and finish the salsa because Chris and I were too busy calling everyone we knew with the good news.
The next day, the phone call finally came from Deanna. "I know what you're having! I saw it myself at the ultrasound appointment." I replied, "I know too. It's a girl." A sneaky smile that I'm sure Deanna could sense across the country crossed my face. "How did you know?" She asked. I glanced at the picture hanging on the refridgerator and said, "Because God likes to give His children the desires of their hearts." Of course, we would have loved and cherished a little boy too, but I ached for a daughter. Isn't God good?
That night, I also had my first phone call from Jenn*. She was excited we wanted to parent her baby and we clicked instantly. Jenn* loved her baby and wanted her to have a mother and father. She confessed she had considered abortion and just couldn't go through with it. She had also had a car accident and been held up at knife point all since getting pregnant. "I know God has big plans for her. She is defiantely meant to be your baby." Her mother and stepfather were supportive of her adoption, as was her current boyfriend. We talked for hours and I fell in love with her. Not because she was giving us her child, but because she was an amazing woman with incredible strength. Chris and I decided we would go to Tulsa in two weeks to spend the weekend with her.
I opened the nursery door for the first time in months and let the tears fall down my face into the blanket I, myself, had used as a newborn. I imagined my beautiful baby wrapped in the same blanket and enveloped in the love I already had for her.
Next step? Tulsa.
I found a picture in a magazine of the most beautiful baby I had ever laid my eyes on. She was about 9 months old, hispanic with golden olive skin, dark brown hair and dark eyes that lit up the entire picture. Didn't God give you the most precious desires of your heart in His timing? I believed so with all my heart. I carefully cut out the picture and placed it between my praying hands. "Dear God, I'm so thankful you have placed the desire to be a mother within me and I will wait for you to match us with the perfect situation, potential birthmother and baby. I believe that You not only give us the desires of our heart, but You delight in surprizing us with gifts above and beyond our imaginations. Thank you God for working in our lives and the life of the woman carrying our unborn child either now or in the future. In Jesus's name, Amen." We knew our next move. We would try the same route as Sarah* and her husband.
It was an attorney's office in Oklahoma City, OK that specialized in adoptions. When the application came in the mail, I filled it out immediately. Pretty standard questions, then came the one I dreaded... "How much have you budgeted for this adoption?" Sarah* had prepared me and Chris and I had discussed it. If people could borrow money for material things, then we would borrow money to become parents. Then came that gutwrenching term we had to agree to. In Oklahoma, prospective adoptive parents could legally provide 10 months living expenses for the prospective birth mother. In the event she changes her mind after birth, you lose the money you have paid for her expenses. Not only losing a baby, but losing even more money than we already had was scary, to say the least. In addition to the application and fee we also had to send in a scrapbook, of sorts, of our family for potential birthmothers to look through. I worked for about a week creating the perfect book. It was filled with pictures of ourselves, Hailee, and friends and family. I tried to pour every detail of our lives into the book so pregnant women could easily gage whether or not we were the family she was looking for. When it was completed, I sent off the packet with a prayer.
About six weeks after applying to Demastus Law, I was canning fresh salsa when the phone rang. "Lori, this is Deanna at Demastus and I have some news for you." I caught my breath and sat down. Had I filled out something wrong? I waited for her to continue. "A pregnant client has chosen to place her baby with you and she's due in 8 weeks. She's a beautiful, fair skinned, white woman and the birthfather is hispanic. Are you interested?"
It took all of two seconds to squeal, "YES! YES! And YES!" I asked her if Jenn* would like to talk to me and she said she would find out at the ultrasound the following day. We would find out tomorrow the sex of our long awaited baby.
Needless to say, my Grandmother had to come over and finish the salsa because Chris and I were too busy calling everyone we knew with the good news.
The next day, the phone call finally came from Deanna. "I know what you're having! I saw it myself at the ultrasound appointment." I replied, "I know too. It's a girl." A sneaky smile that I'm sure Deanna could sense across the country crossed my face. "How did you know?" She asked. I glanced at the picture hanging on the refridgerator and said, "Because God likes to give His children the desires of their hearts." Of course, we would have loved and cherished a little boy too, but I ached for a daughter. Isn't God good?
That night, I also had my first phone call from Jenn*. She was excited we wanted to parent her baby and we clicked instantly. Jenn* loved her baby and wanted her to have a mother and father. She confessed she had considered abortion and just couldn't go through with it. She had also had a car accident and been held up at knife point all since getting pregnant. "I know God has big plans for her. She is defiantely meant to be your baby." Her mother and stepfather were supportive of her adoption, as was her current boyfriend. We talked for hours and I fell in love with her. Not because she was giving us her child, but because she was an amazing woman with incredible strength. Chris and I decided we would go to Tulsa in two weeks to spend the weekend with her.
I opened the nursery door for the first time in months and let the tears fall down my face into the blanket I, myself, had used as a newborn. I imagined my beautiful baby wrapped in the same blanket and enveloped in the love I already had for her.
Next step? Tulsa.
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