"...she's her mommy." chapter 7

When Kennedy was 5 days old, Jenn and I shared a priceless day together. Because of the heartbreaking failed adoption prior to Kennedy, Chris and I chose not to have a shower until after her birth. As a matter of fact, before Kennedy was released from the hospital, Chris had to go get a car seat and a few sleepers until I could get out to go shopping. My sweet grandmother had bought 3 gorgeous outfits with matching blankets, but that was pretty much all we had.

I needed to register at Babies R Us for our loved ones back home (whom, of course, were chomping at the bits to buy for Kennedy) and I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather experience that with than Jenn. I was hesitant about asking her because I didn't want to upset her, but when I approached her about it, she was thrilled. We spent hours picking out the things our sweet baby would need. We decided that, for Kennedy, the obvious choice of bedding and room decor was pink. Tiny pink flowers and foamy green accents covered the quilt and would compliment the white crib beautifully.

After we registered, we went back through the store and shopped for the things I needed immediately. We were out of the basics from the hospital so I had to buy everything from diapers and wipes to onsies, sleepers and socks. How I had waited for the day I could buy those things for my daughter without the fear she would be taken from me and all I would have left are her things.

Then came that akward moment. When the saleslady saw Kennedy's birthday on the registry she asked, "Which one of you is the mom?" Jenn quickly said, "Oh, I'm her birthmom, but she is her mommy." Tears welled up in the lady's eyes and she replied, "What a lucky little girl." All I could think is, "Thank you God. What an amazing woman."

As we walked to the car Jenn told me she could tell I was miserable being away from Kennedy. I missed my baby so bad it hurt, but didn't want to upset Jenn. I admitted I was going crazy without her and she simply said, "go get your baby and lets go to lunch." We went to the hotel and found Kennedy sleeping soundly. Like little girls with a baby doll, we changed her into one of the cute new outfits and took her with us. At lunch, servers and customers commented on Kennedy's beauty. Jenn seemed to enjoy watching me care for her and expressed her contentment at being "Aunt Jenn."

At the end of this perfect day, I held Kennedy until she fell asleep under my chin. I cherished the feel of her soft, silky black hair on my skin and the sweet smell of baby lotion. I was in no hurry to get home and have to share her with those so excited to meet her. I didn't want to return to everyday life and was perfectly content being halfway across the country with my little girl.

Our time here as a family had been wonderful but there was a big dread I could now feel in my stomach. The next day, Chris would board a plane for home and Kennedy and I would be left in Tulsa...completely alone.