She's back...

I thought I was "over it." I thought I was finished going through the stages of grief. I thought it was all in my past. I thought by some miracle she had stopped. I was wrong. I checked my email a week ago and found four messages regarding Amy, who is now going by the name Amy Jo Slanina. She has several aliases she's used through the years. First names include Amy, Amy Jo, Aimee, Amiee, Crystal, Christy, Marissa and Marie. Last names include Cumbee (her maidan name), Ost (a married name), Hodge (a married name), Slanina, Tidwell and Miller. The first email was from an Executive Director at a domestic abuse shelter. She told me that Amy had been staying in her shelter under false pretenses, claiming to be pregnant. That's pretty much all her email said so I moved along to the second one from a police officer in Kittanning Borough PA, Officer Greg Koprivnak. My heart started pounding when I read the first crucial sentence. "Today I have found she is up to her old tricks and scammed a couple from Idaho into coming to Pennsylvania under the same pretenses that they were going to get to adopt a baby." He told me he had arrested her on simple drug charges, but was familiar with the Dateline story and was hopeful there were more serious charges to come. He asked me to contact him with information on her to help with the investigation. After reading these emails, I was so shocked that my hands could barely navigate the keyboard to open the others. These were the letters written by professionals. I skimmed through the next two with tears in my eyes. Oh dear God....more victims. The first victim is a woman who was in a relationship with Amy from Sept-Nov. Amy claimed to have just gotten out of a relationship with Christy Tidwell (the same Christy she used in our scam). She told "J" that she was a nurse and was pregnant via in vitro with twins. While Amy was staying with her, she claimed her mother passed away and she left to go to be with her family in PA. There, she went into labor and gave birth to the twins, who conveniently were in NICU and "J" couldn't visit. She brought back pictures of the babies and the couple named them Seth and Olivia. Amy said she wanted to marry "J" and on the day she went to the hospital to bring Seth home, she never returned. Within hours of leaving, her cell phone was disconnected. Four days later, "J" received a letter in the mail from Amy stating that she was going back to Christy and wasn't in love with her. Amy stole over $700 worth of possessions from "J" and her family. When she was contacted by Officer Koprivnak regarding the drug arrest, "J" said she would press charges. I've heard this particular story from Amy TWICE before. The first being Christy Miller Tidwell and the second, a woman named Lisa in Ohio. Lisa contacted me in February 2010. She had known Amy about 17 months after meeting through a Craigslist ad. When they began talking Amy was in jail in Davidson County TN for stealing a vehicle. When she was released she moved to Ohio to be with Lisa. Of course, Amy was pregnant in vitro with twins and wanted to marry her and start a business and family with her. She lived with Lisa and her mother and they all prepared the arrival of the babies. Amy provided ultrasound pictures and said she had inherited money from her grandfather's death and had paid off Lisa's car. (The car was later repossesed, much to Lisa's surprise.) One day, Amy borrowed Lisa's mother's car and went to go run errands. Several hours later her phone was disconnected and she never returned. She took Lisa's mother's checks, credit cards and car and was found in PA the following day and arrested. Lisa's mother went in front of the Grand Jury in March. See http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2010/04/30/story-mount-vernon-woman-accused-of-faking-pregnancy.html . In June, she was sentenced to 17 months. Here is a news video from the sentencing : http://www.10tv.com/live/content/local/stories/2010/06/04/story-mount-vernon-woman-sentenced-pregnancy-fraud.html?sid=102 . The fourth and final email was from a woman named Rebecca. After reading the first few sentences of her story, a heaviness enveloped me. Her experience with Amy was so similar to mine I couldn't stop the tears. I was overwhelmed in grief for the pain of this woman as I relived every painful moment of losing the baby Amy promised me. On top of everything else, it was almost 6 years to the day. Right during the holidays. As a woman longing for a baby, I spent every holiday wondering if I would have that precious child in my arms the next year. Would it be my last Christmas as a mother of one? Oh how I would dream and plan and envision spending the holidays as a mother of two. The years would come and go and with each holiday that passed, I became more and more depressed and hopeless. The year Amy came into my life was a few days before Thanksgiving and she disappeared the day before Christmas. It was a hellish nightmare. Where was the woman who had promised she would give me the baby I had been dreaming of? Was she ok? What if something had happened to her and the baby? I was overtaken with worry and the worry quickly turned to grief when I realized I had been scammed. This same nightmare had become a reality for Rebecca and I grieved with her. Rebecca and Barry were contacted by Amy on Dec 23 through their website. Amy presented herself as "Aimee", a 19 year old living in Indiana PA and attending nursing school. She claimed to work at Walmart and lived with the father of the baby named Mike. Mike was a criminal justice major and worked at a home for troubled boys. She told Rebecca up front that she didn't want any money as they were both employed and had medical insurance. She explained that she placed a baby 2 years ago named Olivia in an open adoption, but that was "too hard" so she prefered a closed adoption this time around. She was expecting a baby girl on Jan 17th. They had one phone conversation with her, but after the initial call, it was strictly texting or email. Interestingly enough, they also corresponded with "Mike" several times via text and email. Things moved quickly and a case worker from their agency talked to her just 3 days later and confirmed a meeting on Dec 30 in which they would verify pregnancy and start paperwork. Aimee conveniently went into labor the evening of Dec 30 and the couple immediately made arrangements to get to the hospital 2000 miles away. With tears streaming down my face, I made my way to the text messages Rebecca sent with the email. It was déjà vu. Mike began texting the couple claiming that Aimee's water had just broke and she was crying in pain and he was heartbroken watching her hurt. Rebecca told them they were on their way and they were praying. Mike asks "promise you are coming?" The couple reassured them they would be there the following morning before 6am. As the texts were being exchanged, the excited couple was driving the 3.5 hours to Salt Lake City airport. Right before departure to JFK, they got what would be their last text from "Mike and Aimee." Rebecca: "No internet in flight. How are things going?" Mike: "OMG" Upon arriving in New York and traveling to Pittsburgh, the couple tried contacting Aimee, but there was no response. Sick with worry, they drove to the hospital and of course, they had no patient by the name Aimee Jo Slanina. They checked the other area hospitals in desperation and the reality sank it. They had been scammed. Later, they received a call from Officer Koprivnak in Kittanning, PA (the same officer who contacted me) and he told them he had arrested Aimee/Amy. Apparently, the director at the abuse shelter had misgivings about her, googled her, and found the Dateline story. Officer Koprivnak found out she hadn't checked in with per parole officer in Ohio and was able to take her into custody. He found their text messages after confiscating her cell phone and immediately called them. He confirmed Amy had been scamming them and from what he could tell, there was no baby. Even though they hadn't given Amy any money, they lost $3000 on flight, car and hotel. What's more though, they got their hearts broken. Everything happened so fast, they saw no red flags to question her validity. The agency did everything they could given the time frame they were given, particularly with the holidays. Even more frightening, Amy never asked for money. She did it for the thrill and power. Words can't put into words the heartbreak I felt all over again. I grieved for Rebecca and I grieved again for myself. Now, a week later, I realize I have worked through the devastation of losing the baby, but I have pushed back the pain of the scam itself. I feel guilty for not doing more to protect others not only from Amy, but from the other adoption scammers hurting others daily. In the wake of my scam, former TN Rep Mark Maddox wrote a bill making adoption scam a felony, but it was pushed back by attorneys. Instead of fighting for it, I let it go. I went on with my life and tried to forget. The more the grief subsides, the more the anger rises. I can't let this go on. I can't stand aside and not fight for adoption laws. Obviously, adoption scammers are terrorizing the lives of potential adoptive parents, but what about birth mothers and women who are considering adoption? Women who have chosen adoption for their children are being looked down upon. Women who are considering adoption and change their minds and parent are being labeled scammers. Yes, this is my other soap box. Let's get this straight right now. Pregnant woman may have completely decided to place their baby with the "perfect" couple they have chosen. They may have accepted living expenses. When the baby is born though, they decide to parent. Yes, the couple is devastated. I've been there. It's horrific. BUT, she has every right to change her mind. She's a woman who has given birth to the baby she has carried for nine months and deciding to parent does not make her a scammer. It's a chance potential adoptive parents take. Unfortunately, pregnant women considering adoption are now often times second guessed because of those women who scam other financially and/or emotionally with the promise of a baby. The laws regarding expenses vary from state to state. There are no laws in which to charge women who are legitimately scamming others. The adoption system is out of control and there is nothing in place to protect anyone involved. I'm hurt. I'm sad. I'm outraged. I'm determined. I will not stop until changes take place.